I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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