i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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