Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
