Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
