Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
