This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
