Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
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Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
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the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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