Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
