Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
