I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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