Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
