I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
