Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
