That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
