WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
