I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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