dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
