Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
i think my cat just said my name.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
