Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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