I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
