I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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