didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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