i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
