Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
