I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
