i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
