if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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