this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
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