i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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