You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
