if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
