so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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