I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
