I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Barsexuality is the new black.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I think a kid would responsible me up
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Randomize
