p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
