Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the day after is always just damage control
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
