Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize