and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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