I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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