I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
50% drunk capacity currently
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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