mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
