Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....

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(912): View more from Georgia

He kissed a someone with a penis

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(734): View more from Michigan

Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?

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(847): View more from Illinois

so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?

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(916): View more from California

My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

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(801): View more from Utah

He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue

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