I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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