Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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