Texts From Last Night

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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.

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  (978): benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are. http://tfl.nu/ifpr
  Replies (4) Good night (5026) Bad night (692)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.

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  (724): I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet. http://tfl.nu/hq1s
  Replies (19) Good night (6453) Bad night (987)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.

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  (501): He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice. http://tfl.nu/qyuj
  Replies (7) Good night (6166) Bad night (970)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit

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  (301): and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit http://tfl.nu/fjd7
  Replies (8) Good night (4593) Bad night (1085)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...

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  (240): I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette... http://tfl.nu/tjl0
  Replies (17) Good night (1039) Bad night (4865)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses

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  (801): I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses http://tfl.nu/98sm
  Replies (10) Good night (2742) Bad night (955)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.

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  (778): some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast. http://tfl.nu/x23k
  Replies (3) Good night (974) Bad night (2241)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.

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  (435): I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs. http://tfl.nu/z5mq
  Replies (13) Good night (2789) Bad night (813)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg

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  (860): nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg http://tfl.nu/ezvc
  Replies (6) Good night (3367) Bad night (786)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.

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  (734): Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had. http://tfl.nu/a9pp
  Replies (7) Good night (781) Bad night (1195)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.

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  (313): She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home. http://tfl.nu/iyq0
  Replies (5) Good night (1496) Bad night (767)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste

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  (425): Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste http://tfl.nu/bd6y
  Replies (5) Good night (1562) Bad night (456)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's

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  (614): Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's http://tfl.nu/o9z1
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (586)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me

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  (617): The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me http://tfl.nu/mmd5
  Replies (8) Good night (1194) Bad night (488)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok

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  (518): Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok http://tfl.nu/yj83
  Replies (4) Good night (227) Bad night (328)

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