She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
