So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
21 Embarrassing Stories From Adults Who’ve Crapped Their Pants
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch