How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Another day, another engagement, another cat
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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