i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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