I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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