problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize