I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
