I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
