i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
