This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
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