just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
