I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
