Your tits are I can't wait for
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
