yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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