I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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