u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have post one night stand depression
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