She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
