i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I can feel your judgement through the phone
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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